


The 5 times Chloe told Jake "I love you"

by NotPitifulChildrenAnymore



Series: RoyalPains one shots [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: I Don't Even Know, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:36:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotPitifulChildrenAnymore/pseuds/NotPitifulChildrenAnymore
Summary: Okay so I actually have a ton of feelings about this as a ship, but in the meantime enjoy a bit of a one-shot
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Chloe Valentine
Series: RoyalPains one shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106462
Kudos: 5





	The 5 times Chloe told Jake "I love you"

The first time she told him she loved him she was five. They’d sat there in the playground, watching their respective best friends play in the sandbox. The sun was shining brightly overhead, and she’d tilted her head to the side considering him before she announced, “I love you Jake.” There was a solemnity there that you wouldn’t expect from the typical five year old, but she wasn’t. He’d reciprocated with all the ease of a young child not understanding what the words he uttered meant, and she didn’t mention it again. That was when she still had hope that the word meant something.

The second time she told him she loved him was at ten. He’d just asked her out and in the rush of elementary affection he’d said he loved her too. After all, that was what you were supposed to do, right? He hadn’t felt this way before and decided it must be love. She was a bit more emotional in this decision, and losing faith in the word even then. But everyone else around her said it, and she was sure she’d catch up eventually. Yet her young heart had already disputed these even as she tried to assure herself of it, making those preparations as it closed itself off.

The third time she told him she loved him was at seventeen in a hushed whisper over a pillow. There was a rushed determination to assure themselves of something they both knew wasn’t true but couldn’t stand to face. So she forced it out of herself, and he accepted easily, each with the desperation to prove something to themselves as they hurt each other in the process. She had opened her heart to him just to have it torn out, and at first there was the determination to make him hurt like she had. But as he lead her up the stairs and looked back at her, a question in his clear eyes she gave in. Music blared in the background as she decided she was done, that love wasn’t real. But this was, and as she bent down to meet him and their bodies met, she was sure she could set aside those feelings and lose herself in the physical. After all, wasn't she as heartless as they all said?

The fourth time she told him she loved him was at twenty. They’d finally grown up by then, or so they’d thought. But even by then they still couldn’t stop hurting each other, as though they still couldn’t forgive the other for holding them back from this realization. They both knew they should stop, Chloe most out of either of them. But night after night she couldn’t stop returning and he never turned her away or asked her to stop. So they continued, a pulsing undertone to it neither of them acknowledged. After all those years, their bodies connected perfectly as they kept at it. There was a comforting familiarity to it as relationships came and went, each ending with a drastic blowout. At least she knew who she was with him, even if the morning would come eventually and she'd glance over at his sleeping form, a blanket wrapped tighter around her as her heart fought to be opened. But she still had the night, where she could pretend the morning didn't exist.

The fifth time she told him she loved him was at twenty four. Grown now and finally at peace with each other, she told him so as the night wound down to an end and the music struck up the same song that had played the night she’d closed off her heart. Only now did they truly know what that love was, and she was happy to let him go. She’d bade Rich a good night with all the usual happy wishes and Brooke at her side, before turning to Jake. Sensing it was something private, Brooke and Rich stepped aside leaving the two alone. She pulled him into a hug and spoke those words she’d first said nineteen years ago, finally not afraid to let him know she meant them. Her heart had opened up, and allowed room for the love of her life and the boy who forever changed her.


End file.
